Mick's Life Celebration

On Jan 22nd we had Micks Life Celebration at the beach.  It was a beautiful day, we camped there at the beach and got up at 6am that morning.   Katrina, Chris and I walked down to watch the sun come up.  It was so beautiful, so peaceful.  Katrina ran in circles and was so excited to be there.  We needed to walk over to our spot to set up for Micks day.  I really felt like we were setting up for his birthday party.  We found a great spot, no one around and a perfect view of the ocean.  I have always loved the ocean and had many nice days at the ocean with my boys in California and Florida.  I feel so at peace there, so relaxing.  I began to set up, our friends Vivian and Ron camped with us and were helping to set up.  We put up a nice table and put Mick and all his pictures around and lots of fresh flowers and his artwork and art work his friend made him.  I made a few cd's with songs that he liked and some that made me think of him.  Katrina played in the sand and flew a kite.  We had bloody mary's and tried to relax while we waited for the celebration to begin.  Mick's girlfriend Angel, his cousin Gilbert and step brother Shea came out from Albuquerque.  I was excited to meet Angel, she meant allot to Mick.  As people began to arrive, i began to see how loved my Mick was.  So many came!  Its funny in these times.  People you think will come dont and those you didnt expect in a million years do.  So many friends Mick had and all were so devastated, so devastated.....  I felt so bad seeing these hard looking young men with tears in their eyes.  Telling me how my son inspired them, made them laugh and now made them cry.  Pretty young girls, crying and laughing at his baby pictures.  For a long time that day I stayed in the back watching, seeing who was there and how they were reacting.  I couldnt believe how many of his friends came...  People think that the younger generation has no feeling, that they dont care.  They do, they loved my son!!  I asked for his friends to bring a guitar and they did, one brought his bongo drums.  It was so neat.  Mick would of loved this...  I passes out little blocks of wood to everyone and a marker.  The idea was to write a message to Mick and then at sunset we would toss them into the bonfire so all the messages could be sent to him.  Mick friend Beverly had asked me to let her sing a song for Mick, I was so thrilled!  She said he would always tell her to sing so now she was going to just for him.  Before her song i wrote a letter to read to everyone I would like for you all to hear it too.

 For those of you that don’t know me I am Mick’s mom Sabrina.  On behalf of Mick, myself, my husband Chris and our son Ray and daughter Katrina we thank you so much for coming today.   It means so much to us to see how loved our Mick was by all of you. 

I wanted to tell you a little about my life with Mick.  He was a beautiful and easy going baby.  Never fussed much and always was smiling.  His legal name is Anthony Michael but while I was pregnant with him his brother Ray kept saying I had Mickey Mouse in my belly.  So 5 minuets after Mick was born and I held him for the first time I looked at him and said we will call him Mick.  So in a way his brother named him.  Ray and Mick were inseparable, best friends from the beginning.  They did nothing without each other and everyone knew if you invite one to do something his brother was coming too.  They loved each other very much.  If they fought I would ground them until they hugged and said I love you.  They would be so mad at each other and then be cracking up laughing 5 seconds later.  Ray, Mick and I were a great team and it was just the three of us for many, many years.  My boys were my best friends and whatever they liked I liked, from Teenage Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers to WWF Wrestling.  We would go camping, drive in movies or just a walk to the park.  Then when they were about 12 and 13 I met my wonderful husband Chris.  He changed our lives forever and we very easily became a family.  Then with the addition of Katrina we were complete.  We don’t call each other step dad, mom or step brother or sister.  Our love as a family was strong and we see each other as the real thing. 

  Something you might not know is that when Mick was about 5 years old he wanted to be a priest.  He really liked his catechism classes and thought it would be neat to be one.  Then he found out you can’t date or get married, so he said ok I will be a cop then.  He told me once that he could never find a girl like me so he could he just marry me?  That made me so happy, I will never forget that conversation.  I told him he would find love one day and she will be amazing.  He then told me that he would have 5 daughters so that I could take care of them.  When he was about 10 he use to say that he would be rich one day and would buy a big house for me, his wife and 5 daughters.  He then would joke that Ray could live in a box in the front yard.  Mick slept with me until he was 14.  Even if he had friends sleeping over he still ended up in my bed.  He didn’t care, he loved his mom and that’s all that mattered.   After I married Chris we would wake up sometimes and find Mick on the floor next to our bed.  It was very cute. 

Mick had a beautiful giggle, amazing smile, unique personality and was one heck of a dancer.  He performed in many musicals, including Chicago, Guys and Dolls and a remake of Michael Jacksons “Thriller”.  He was never shy and always was ready to put on a show.  His first time dancing in front of a crowd, I worried that he would be scared.  But of course he proved me wrong, he came running out and slid on his knees to the front of the stage and yelled “Hi Mom!”  The whole auditorium laughed.  I loved it!  Mick was also an amazing skateboarder, artist and was very poetic.    His talents were endless. 

Mick cared a lot about the people around him.  He acted tough, but he worried about people.  Many times he would come to me with a problem one of his friends had asking me what to do.  How to help a girl who was pregnant and didn’t know how to tell her parents.   A friend who expressed thoughts of suicide and needed help.   He was a caring, sweet young man that carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He always worried about me too.  If I didn’t answer my phone or came home late with out calling he would be so mad and waiting by the door.  I joked once and pretended to smoke a cigarette, Mick saw me and wouldn’t talk to me for 2 hours!   I then was lectured on how it wasn’t funny to him.

One of the last conversations I had with Mick was about his birthday in March.  He would be 20 on the 20^th.  He told me he wanted to have a big party and have all his family together.  I agreed and said if that’s what you want then we will do it!  He was very excited.  On January 8^th he had his whole family together in Albuquerque and now we have all his friends together here in California.  This is as big of a party that we could imagine giving him.  I want to celebrate my Mick and would love everyone to meet each other and talk about how Mick made an impact on their life.  Send good thoughts out and help the people involved in his death heal and know that we have no ill feelings towards them.  I know they are hurting too. 

My Mick was such a beautiful person inside and out.   He melted my heart with every smile and his voice was music to my ears and all the songs chosen to be played today have a special meaning or memory of our Mick.  I don’t know how life will be without him but I know he is all around me and always will be.  

I read my letter to everyone and loved hearing the giggles.   After I finished Beverly and a friend came up by Mick and sang "The Reason" from Hoobastank.  That was my song to my boys.  When i divorced their dad it hurt them so much but I did it for them, to give them a better life and see who i really was and who I wanted them to be.  It was so beautiful that she picked that song.  I was so happy that she did this for Mick.  It was beautiful.  

 During her song a lady bug landed on my nephew Gilberts cheek, so Ray got it and brought it to Chris and then to Katrina and finally to me.  I tried to give it back to Katrina but the lady bug would not leave me.  She kept coming back to me.  It was amazing, she sat on me for about 40mins before I put her on Mick flowers.  I didnt want her to get hurt.  I feel that Mick was the lady bug, he was with us and was comforting me, helping me through the evening.  Keeping me strong.  Ladybugs represent my love for Mick.  When I see a ladybug, I know my Mick is around. 

After Beverly sang I asked everyone to please toss their block in the fire and think of Mick.  I asked for everyone to meet someone they dont know and talk about Mick, share stories with each other.  It was a beautiful sunset that night all for my Mick.  I began to walk around and pass out the skateboards that were made for his celebration.  Mick and Rays friends came over a few nights beofore the celebration and made 300 mini boards.  Each board had a saying he would say or Micks name on it.  It was a perfect gift to remember him by.  I cant say enough how wonderful Micks friends are.  They are amazing.  When I walked around and talked to his friends they were so sad and caring towards me.  Ill never forget these 2 girls who showed up late and I walked up to say hi and give them a board.  I said Hi Im Mick mom and they both gasped and burst into tears.  They were so upset and gave me the biggest hugs.  They couldnt even talk to me.  I told them to smile and remember him and not to be so sad.  They agreed and walked away.  One boy came up to me and said Mick was a big inspiration to him, that every time he got down on himself Mick would cheer him up.  He hugged me and told me how awesome my sons were and that Mick is greatly missed and they would watch over Ray.  Another friend of his was crying so hard he was shaking, this guy looked so hard but was so soft.  He told me he loved Mick and that Micks death made him realize he wasnt indestructible and that he needed to shape his life up.  I said good, thats what I want to hear.  The rest of the night was peaceful, i am still to this day shocked at the turnout and the love, so much love for Mick.   So much love for Ray....  I listened to his friends play guitars and drums and sing.  It was beautiful.  I am so grateful to everyone that made it that night.  I know Mick was with us and was smiling.  We camped that night too, Chris and I were so tired and we went to bed around midnight.  I had not dreamed of Mick once since he died.  I woke up at 3:38 that morning (this is the time I think Mick passed away at)  I seem to awake at that time allot.  I went right back to sleep and was missing him so much.  I was visited by Mick that morning.  I had a dream that we were having a party for Mick and that we rented a big hall for the party.  When we got there Chris, Ray, Kat and I we walked in and the whole place was set up with couches!  We were told to sit at the front on a couch that only fit the four of us, I said "where is Mick suppose to sit, its his party!!!!"  I was very upset and then Mick tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around and he was smiling at me and was so calm and peaceful and he said "its ok mom, Im ok mom, dont worry, ok?  Im ok, dont worry about me" and then i woke up.  It was so real, he was so real!!!  He was beautiful and so calm.  He looked at me with his soft eyes and I felt he was worried about me.  I have not dreamed of him since and I so badly want to!!!  

The next morning we woke up and went to the ocean one more time and then headed home.  Ron and Vivian came over to help clean the camper and Vivian found a lady bug in the camper.  I was so happy and that really kicked in my lady bug obsession!  So many lady bugs all around me, real and not real.  I know its my baby boy saying hello.  I miss you Mick