The call that changed my life

The morning of January 1st, 2011 started normal.  Katrina woke up first and came to our bed and quietly laid down next to me to watch cartoons.  I woke up and thought wow she actually slept in a little.  Chris then woke up and we all laid there for a few minuets talking about what to have for breakfast.  I had text Mick and Ray at midnight California time to say Happy New Year.  Ray had responded but Mick never did.  I thought of this and looked at my cell phone to see if he had text back yet.  He had not.  I looked at Chris and said Mick didn't text back and Chris gave me a "I'm sorry" look  and said he is probley still asleep.  I agreed.  A few moments later Chris" cell phone rang and I picked it up and saw it was my dad calling.  I handed it to Chris and knew it probley wasn't good news.  I thought why is he calling Chris???  Chris answered and i heard my dad say "if your next to Sabrina walk away"  my heart stopped and I felt very sick.  Chris walked into the other room and I of course followed.  i couldn't hear what was being said but Chris wouldn't look at me.  I tapped him on the shoulder and said "is it my mom?  Is she ok?  Whats wrong?"  I kept thinking in my head that my mom fell and broke her arm.  I have no idea why.  I never for a second thought it was Mick.  Chris hung up with my dad. (he told me later he actually pretended to still be on the call for 20 seconds before turning around to me).  I remember he was pale in the face, that's it.  I don't remember what he said.  I only remember feeling like I had been hit with a sledge hammer in the stomach.  I remember crying and saying no, its not true.  I was laying on the floor and Chris was holding me but I felt numb and confused.  Katrina sat on the bed and I do remember her pretty face looking so lost as to what was happening.  I kept thinking get up, its not true.  Its a blurr after that for awhile.  Chris then had to call Ray.  Chris my wonderful husband who had to put his grief aside to take care of us.  He had to tell me, Ray and Katrina that our loved Mick was gone.  He called Ray and as he told him what happened Rays phone died.  He only caught a bit of what Chris said.  When he called back, Chris again had to tell him Mick had been killed.  Rays girlfriend Brianne and he parents immediately brought Ray home to us.    Seeing my poor Rays face when he walked in my room is burned into my memory.  So shocked and sad, wide eyed and frowning.  We hugged each other very tight.  We could not believe our three was made a two.  We didn't know what to do.  We hugged and hugged, then Katrina and Chris came and we all hugged.  How our lives had just been shattered.  Katrina so bright and smart, wasn't sure what was happening at first.  Chris so sweetly explained to her what happened to her brother Mick.   She broke down and cried.  Her mom came to get her and take her home so we could start to think of what we needed to do.  We didn't want her to go but we knew it was best.  I kept thinking who do I call?  How do I tell them?  How do i say Mick is gone? 
The rest of that day is a blurr for me.  I remember bits and pieces, i remember the kindness of friends rushing to help us and be by our side.  Such sad kindness I had never known till that day and i will always be grateful for.  We had never met Brianne's wonderful parents before, when they came back over to drop off Brianne so she could be by Ray side when we went to be with Mick and it was as if we had always known each other. I can remember thinking, I cant believe this is how we are meeting but I felt so comfortable with them.  We then had to head to the airport to go and be with Mick.  It was a horrible feeling driving to the airport and feeling so lost and confused.  Was this for real?  When will I wake up?  Please let me wake up!  On the plane an elderly man was sat next to me and i thought "ugh wish he wasn't sitting here!"  Before the flight was over the elderly man looked at me very sweetly and said "I can tell you have lost someone you love and I am so sorry."  He was so sweet.  The rest of the night was quiet, we got to my mothers and went to sleep.  I fell asleep crying and thought its just a bad bad dream right?!  But I knew it wasn't.